A Year Ago Today

A year ago today I lost Roland to brain cancer.

One year… 52 weeks, 365 days.

Yet, sometimes it feels like only yesterday.

A lot has happened in this year… mostly I have learned to hold my family and friends close.

The first few months of loss were traumatic. The hardest moments were the first of the day when upon waking I would remember, over and over again, that Roland was not there. A black heaviness would descend and overtake me. I have tried to come up with other words to describe it but can find none. Thank goodness for my dogs. They needed to go out, they needed to be fed. If not for them, I think many days would have been spent in bed, covers up, blinds drawn.

Then, one day, in early spring, while walking with my friend through Whitter Park, she asked, “How are you feeling when you wake in the morning?” Caught off guard by her insight and empathy I turned towards her and let the words fall out. Relief came in the telling. Thank you, Brenda, for this.

These days, the blackness has dissipated from my mornings… such a relief. The heaviness remains but often feels as if it too is lifting.

Over the weeks and months, there are more and more days when I find myself feeling happy and enjoying my life. On occasion, a memory or a photo now brings a smile instead of tears, or perhaps more honestly, a smile before the tears. For this I am grateful.

But there are still those days when I just wait for him to come home.

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it’s the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time’s forever frozen still

So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer ’til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home

~The photograph – Ed Sheeran

September – how can it be!

Seems like only yesterday that excitement ruled as the days grew long and the sun shared a new warmth.

How can it be that we are now mid-way through September. All too quickly it is once more time to close up our St. Malo seasonal site and prepare for the coming of winter.

Thank goodness for memories.

“Summer, after all, is a time when wonderful things can happen to quiet people. For those few months, you’re not required to be who everyone thinks you are, and that cut-grass smell in the air and the chance to dive into the deep end of a pool give you a courage you don’t have the rest of the year. You can be grateful and easy, with no eyes on you, and no past. Summer just opens the door and lets you out.” ~ Deb Caletti

Project 52 | Week 18 – We Are Family

Welcome to week 18 of the Pet Photographers Project 52 blog circle. This week’s theme is “Pets and People”.

I hope every pet owner has the opportunity to acquire at least one photo of themselves with their pets. Life has taught me what a treasure these photos are.

This week I have decided to focus on some very special pets and some very special people… my grandkids and their critters. All of them bring me much happiness.

First, we have Alyssa with Tank. Tank is a one-year-old Chi/Pom mix… a vocal, bouncy pup who keeps everyone on their toes.

Here is Alyssa again with the very adorable Waffles. Waffles is a former pound pup who now is living the good life. She is about 3 years old and is part Cairn Terrier, part Ewok.

Next is Miss Kaitlyn with Tank… double the cuteness.

This lovely lass is Zoe. She very rightly considers Lacie to be her dog, they are best buds. Lacie will be 8 years old this summer and she too is a pound pup.

Zac loves all creatures. Here he is with Stella… the best cat EVER! Stella adopted Zac and his family via the Winnipeg Humane Society two years ago.

Last, but never least, just to wrap things up… here is my hubby and our two dogs, Lacie and Odin. Yes, we have foster failed… Odin is now very much a permanent member of our pack.

We are family!

“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
~ Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

Project 52 _______________________
This post is part of the Pet Photography Project 52 blog circle. To see what the next photographer is sharing for the weekly theme, “Pets and People”, visit Pet Love Photography, serving Greater Cincinnati, the San Francisco Bay Area, and destinations nationwide. Continue to click the link at the end of each post in the blog circle until you eventually find your way back here. Enjoy!

Journey 2018 Day 335/365 – cousins

Bless Mom… she was the keeper of our memories, scrapbooks and vintage albums filled with old photos and writings. Looking through them the other day I came across this small 2″x 3″ photo of myself with my cousins. The original photo was in rough shape… but I loved it. These are my cousins Daryl, Marilyn and Howard and my sister, Patti and myself (far right). Mom is standing behind Marilyn and Auntie Margaret is standing behind me. Can’t say exactly where this was taken or when, but it was well over 60 years ago.

Thanks to these old albums, I feel an excitement stirring… a new keenness surfacing. Wouldn’t it be great to restore some of these treasures, not so much for prosperity, but more for my kids and their kids.

Funny… I have been hoping to find a new challenge for the new year. Perhaps it just found me!

“God made us cousins because He knew our mothers could not handle us as siblings.”